The gutter welcomes you with open arms
Wonderland - Natalia Kills Perfectionist
Scary - Britney Spears
Femme Fatale (Japanese Deluxe Edition)
Don’t Keep Me Waiting - Britney Spears
Bonus Track from Femme Fatale
<3
So you wanna hear what’s wrong with me?
Well, let’s see, how about a cup o’ coffee?
First there’s the work, the pile,
The jerk of MysElf, tryiNg to (“Kyle!”)…
I’ve got a little devil in me,
And he’s not the cutest thing.
But when he gets out,
Backseat, a stranger’s house,
I let him hit with a swing,
Off the wagon, to the ground running.
Neglecting the inner turmoil,
Trading love for fish oil:
Keep yourself looking good
Like granny said you should.
If she’s looking down, she needs a blindfold.
If you look longer, I’m gonna need a 20 fold.
Let’s be honest for a second,
You got the Good Book, I reckon?
Well pop it open, drown me out,
But listen to the chorus now!
It’s just a bass beat, synth drum;
Damn, it feels good to be numb.
1. Manhattans taste like gasoline in a martini glass
2. The ladies of the Clarmont Lounge love gay boys. I have a spiked dog collar and a new crash pad to prove it.
3. The leather bar has a cool pin ball machine.
4. Apparently, people think I’m reckless *Kanye shrug*
5. If you’re a girl and buy me a drink, I will make sure you get every guy’s number in the bar, including the owner’s.
6. You can keep Blake’s on the Park. Thanks.
7. I’m attracted to ladies with dreads and white pants.
8. Middle aged strippers with large nipples are attracted to me.
9. At Cumberland Mall, they sell bedazzled Jesus necklaces, in case you haven’t gotten me anything yet.
10. THERE IS NO TGI FRIDAY’S OFF OF PACES FERRY
11. If you’re going to stick your tongue in someone else’s mouth, make sure you read their Facebook wall first.
12. Flight attendants are very hospitable. Go home with them if you can’t drive.
13. Its possible to spend $83 on bath products.
14. Hypnotic tastes good; Four Loko does not.
15. Staying in with friends and getting hammered while watching cartoons is just as good if not better, than making bad decisions in a club.
16. If your in the hood, the liquor store is your best bet for picking up some pirated DVDs.
17. Cat calling from the second story window at Burkhart’s doesn’t do you any favors, but its still fun to do.
18. If you order a drink at PF Changs and don’t like it, they’ll willing to give you a PBR instead.
19. Just because you’re given a weekend in which no one else will judge you, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t judge yourself.
20. A spiked leather jock strap will run you about $90.
21. I have some pretty awesome fucking friends :)
*hoot* and *flutter*
<3
That awkward moment when Natalie Portman hooks up with both Jackie AND Kelso.
Or that Jackie and Kelso are making the SAME DAMN movie.
world = ending
